What I Have Learned From Being Negative In Life!
Looking back, I can see now that I have completed a pretty thorough exploration of the negative side of life before moving on to explore the positive. Just as pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters have two sides, so does life… a fact that I am sure you are naturally well aware of. People who have only ever seen the “heads” side of a coin would then naturally describe it as such, and others who have only ever seen the “tales” side of a quarter would then have little choice other than to describe it just as they have seen it.
With that said, one of my inspirations for creating the How2LoveLife site, as we now know it, was an encounter that I had with a person on my forty-seventh birthday. I was feeling happy and in a good mood, as I usually am, and I opened with something like, “Hey, it’s a beautiful day,” to which they immediately shot me down and fired back with, “No, it is not!” As they went on to qualify why I was wrong and why it certainly was not a beautiful day, it became very clear that their reasoning simply would not have been near strong enough to stop anyone else, determined to be happy, successful and in-love with life, from doing so. Their reasoning boiled down to not having the very specific type of weather they needed in order to do a certain outdoor activity that they “needed” in order to be happy. And if I remember correctly, I had been outside earlier that day doing that very same activity with happiness, enjoyment and natural-love-for-life while apparently being completely unaffected by not having the very specific weather pattern this other person needed in order to be happy doing so. This person was being completely successful at satisfying their negative narrative, the one that said, do not be happy no matter what. The conversation went on a bit and after they implied that simply no form of happiness could ever come from a day like they were forced to experience, I asked “What about people who are just happy inside for no special reason – the ones that have learned to simply be happy and enjoy the adventure of life itself?” And this person fired right back with, “I have never met anyone like that – that doesn’t exist!”
Okay, so I thought that I had done a pretty thorough exploration of the negative side of life, but this person (from the conversation above) is simply a true master of negativity, unnecessary effort, unnecessary resistance, and unnecessary unhappiness. They are simply determined not to be happy, be successful and be in-love with life! In this way, one could say that they only seem to know the negative side of this “coin of life” that we are talking about.
Naturally, one might say, “Instead of being so negative, just look at the bright and positive side, and then you are going to be happy, successful and in-love with life!” Emotionally, this really does seem like a natural solution. In fact, one might easily reason that those who are looking only at the bright-and-positive side of life are then naturally going to experience and enjoy only the bright-and-happy side of life. This form of emotional logic is certainly well meaning but, by itself, it often falls short of delivering the kind of fantastic outcomes that we really want and really need to be happy, successful and in-love with life. I have met and observed many truly beautiful and positive people who thought that just looking at the bright and positive side was all they needed to do - and these were people who were often followed by a string of problems in life that, mechanically speaking, could have been completely avoidable.
The trick that truly happy, successful and life-loving people have learned is to look at both the positive and the negative sides of life. Ultimately, this then allows us to make the kind of well-informed and mechanically-sound decisions in life that really do have power to inoculate against unnecessary problems well-before they would ever have had a chance to manifest.
My suggestion is this: Observe, know and understand both the positive and negative sides of life and then choose to hang out on the positive side. Then you are going to be well informed and you are going to feel good-and-positive about the whole thing! This way is actively being smart-and-wise enough to be happy, successful and truly in-love with life!
It takes skill though, to observe the negative side without being drawn into it emotionally. This is where having a well established positive-narrative really pays off, because then we can learn how to see the negative in service of creating the positive. Other skills that apply are the skills of pure meditation, neuro-linguistic programming and hypnosis. Pure meditation can help us remain clear and unaffected as we observe “both sides of the coin”. Neuro-linguistic programming (nlp) can provide us with extra tools needed in order to reset and make resourceful use of our emotions if/when we get drawn in emotionally (by the negative side), and hypnosis can help us deepen, and make internal, the power of our positive narrative.
So the answer is not to look only at bright-and-happy side of life just as the answer clearly is not found in looking only at the negative. To make well-informed and mechanically-sound decisions, in life, is to secure, protect and grow your natural ability to be happy, successful and truly in-love with life! And as you are doing this, and as you are doing this well, we are all going to benefit beautifully!